Florida Man's General Store in Cultivation World - Chapter 184
Chapter 184 – Viral Footage of Frightened Florida Man Running Away From Chasing Pastor Becomes New TikTok Challenge. Local Sheriff Warns Floridians to Avoid Pastors on Street Until Further Notice.
As the entire structure's power went down, Leo had no choice but to leave the arena. He exited the stage and found himself in a backstage hallway.
The long hallway was wide and tall enough for a T-Rex to set a parkour course here. But for Leo, it was a massive empty room. The dark hallway and monsters walking in the dark reminded Leo of a creepy-pasta legend, namely the backrooms.
Assuming a fearless attitude, Leo strolled along the hallway, searching for an exit. His glowing green eyes shone like a will-o-wisp in the middle of the night. As he walked further, Leo sensed countless eyes watching him.
The backstage was usually a gathering place for local fighters and their disciples. Aliens formed groups of the same race like herds while they traveled through the backstage hallway.
As Leo was alone, he attracted a lot of attention, yet nobody sought trouble with him. In fact, they maintained a distance from him as if they were wary of this Nu'Earthe.
Leo glanced around and sensed cautiousness in their eyes. As he had no time to bother with these aliens, he avoided them and left them alone.
Unfortunately, not all races avoided Leo. A few groups challenged his eye contact.
A hundred Fenrir werewolves occupied an area in front of a locker room, which was designated for their people. Unlike other races, they refused to wear clothes. A dozen wolves leaned on the wall and glared at Leo while the rest continued smoking like a group of teen gangsters.
The werewolves squatted and huddled, smoking something stinky. They puffed orange smoke in the air, but the vapor didn't float up. Instead, the smoke fell to the floor as if their particles were heavy.
Looking at the smoke, Leo glanced at his feet. He still sensed a mild gravity force from the floor while he walked. He wondered if this place was a planet or an artificial star.
As soon as Leo looked away from the group of werewolves, the gang bore fangs and growled at Leo for a moment. However, Anuraku rushed out of the locker room and dragged his people inside.
Leo smirked at the coward werewolf and shook his head. Since the wolves seemed to be afraid of something, Leo took this opportunity to proceed further.
As Leo kept going, he noticed another group of ethnic. While standing in the dark, their eyes transformed into silver-blue fireballs, floating in their eye sockets. They had sharp eyes, pointing upward. Aside from their eyes, ears, purple hair, and purple skin, they looked identical to humans. Most of them wore tight body suits, highlighting their figures and muscle curves.
The group consisted of five females and 30 males. The males had toned muscles and tall physique. Their average height was 6'6, which made them look thinner than usual.
As for the females, they had the perfect curves and figures that adult men fantasized for. Everything about them was perfect for a dream mother, except for their unusual height. The shortest one was about 6'3.
As Leo was a man of culture, he couldn't help but check on the bodies of these sexy humanoid aliens. Moreover, their tight body suits outlined their camel toes and mountain peaks, adding fuel to Leo's suppressed flame.
Fortunately, the men's suit killed Leo's boner as they also flexed their manhood. Looking at the banana outlines under their clothes, Leo wished he could bleach his eyes to forget the cursed view.
As Leo was about to mind his business and leave them be, a tall man from their group approached him.
The purple man put one hand on his chest and the other hand behind his back. With his legs closed, he bowed like a noble.
"Greetings, sir. Could I have a couple minutes of your time to talk about Lord Molg?"
The name interested Leo. As Esen called herself the empress of the Molg Empire, he wondered if they were related to her.
"Tell me more."
Noticing the enthusiasm in Leo's tone, the purple man was delighted. He raised his head, stood straight, and leaned backward. His expression was solemn while he introduced himself.
"My name is Orhan Mahabanana Schlong-Longlong. I'm an elder of Kutrish Planet, and I'm governing five moons. Pleased to make your acquaintance, Sir Florida Man."
His posture highlighted the bulky pants and the outline of his sword. The combination caught Leo off-guard, making him choke.
Leo covered his mouth to suppress his laughter. He tried his best not to change his expression while he averted from the weird name subject.
"…You know me?"
"Your previous fights left us astonished, sir. Oh, silly me. I'm supposed to introduce you to my companions, juniors, and the greatness of Lord Molg."
The weird purple guy slowly introduced everybody in his group one after another. Instead of being brief, he narrated the deeds and achievements of his juniors and friends.
30 minutes later, the introduction of the men was finally over. Leo almost died from suppressing his laughter due to their quirky names.
Musa Rachanuts Ball-Blueblue
Hasim Peapenile Whitewater-Comecome
Aslan Graceliquid Pizboy-Peepee
The whole introduction process was torturous for Leo. He felt like the purple guy trolled him. Still, Leo believed that the system's translator did a poor job converting their proper names into Google-MTL insults, so he maintained his smile and continued to listen. However, his shoulders and lips trembled.
The names were too weird and immature. In normal circumstances, Leo wouldn't laugh at these childish jokes. However, Orhan telling their names while maintaining a serious face and pointing at their private parts made Leo lose it. Moreover, these guys bent their back backward, flexing their groin area, which made it worse.
Seeing the wide smile on Leo's face, Orhan was overjoyed that Leo seemed friendly. He proceeded to introduce the girls next.
"Next is my daughter, Aisha Mahatetten Uraus-smolsmol."
The woman behaved the same as the men, back-bending and highlighting her hump.
Leo couldn't handle it anymore. He turned around, crouched, facepalmed, bit his arm, and cackled in his throat. He was in tears.
The culture shock was too much for Leo.
A few seconds later, Leo turned around. He wiped his teardrops and brightly smiled, looking refreshed. He nodded at Aisha.
"Nice to meet you, young lady."
Orhan kept on going. He pointed at the other girls, and they did the same as Aisha.
Leo maintained his pokerface throughout the ordeal. When the introduction was over, he let out a long sigh of relief. He then confessed.
"Excuse me. I don't know anything about your culture. Is it normal to push your crotch closer to the other person you're speaking with?"
Orhan laughed, "Of course. This is how we display our sincerity and trust in others. Lord Molg taught us that showing our reproductive organs to guests is the best way to break the ice and reveal everybody's hidden sides during a conversation."
Leo couldn't deny that. He recalled how Esen reacted when they slept together naked. She behaved like a virgin maiden in romance stories, revealing her unexpected side. Vice versa, had a pretty sexy six-breasted woman stripped in front of Leo, he might have jumped her with no hesitation. On the other hand, had Esen tried to seduce Leo with her flat chest, he would have vomited.
"And, of course, we do this to get rid of embarrassment and shame. Our productive organs are what nature created for us so that we can conceive babies. It is wrong to be ashamed of showing one in public since it's just a part of our body!"
Leo broke a sweat. This guy sounded crazier than Leo's fellow Floridians at home!
"This is Lord Molg's teaching, Sir Florida Man. Since you're such a respectable man, would you like to grant us an honor and be a part of us? Lord Molg and his apostles will surely welcome you with open legs."
"…I'd rather see them with open arms, not legs."
"It's the same, though?"
"Anyway!" Leo coughed and changed the subject, "I'm so sorry. I'm an Atheist. God forbid, I don't think I can follow your culture and traditions."
"Oh, you don't have to worry about that," Orhan laughed. "Even if you aren't interested in following Lord Molg, you can always be our friend."
Leo was relieved. At least, this guy was reasonable.
But the next words of Orhan changed Leo's mind.
"Let's start by having you massage my daughter's hump first to get us closer. When you're comfortable, we can massage yours-"
Leo ran away without hesitation. These people were sick!
"WAIT! SIR FLORIDA MAN! DON'T RUN AWAY FROM OUR LOOOOOORD!"
Orhan tried to chase after Leo, but the latter was gone.
After ditching the weird cult, Leo found himself at a hotel district outside of the coliseum zone. He wiped his sweat and grumbled.
"This is what happens when liberals take over the world. Damn."
Leo entered the closest hotel building to book a room to rest. Although the entire district also experienced a power outage, they still operated as if it wasn't an issue.
He prayed that he could get home soon. He had enough of this weird place.
It had been six hours since Leo had gone missing. Nobody had noticed it yet.
Although Cat encountered the invaders from the Gorr Tribe, no men came to find the missing unit.
On the other hand, the domain gradually expanded as Xu Nuan and the tamer girls paid the northern lava field a visit. They flew over the field to check on the rumor badgers.
The lava badgers noticed the women's arrival. They waved their arms and danced.
Xu Nuan descended and hovered over the burning field. Despite the extreme temperature, she seemed unaffected.
"Hello, little friends. Want some food?" Xu Nuan offered them yin cabbages from Leo's farm.
The badgers cheered and received them. After devouring everything, they waved their arms again.
Xu Nuan's disciples giggled as they found them funny. However, Xu Nuan didn't let her guard down since these little critters were stronger than they looked.
"I heard you were newborn 1st stage monsters, but I can only see 3rd stage. This growth rate is too fast for regular monsters."
She wished that Yao Qiqi was here with her so that the latter could practice their taming techniques on them. But since Xu Nuan came here with the other disciples, she had no choice but to let them try.
The group of young tamer girls stood on their flying swords while they approached the badgers. Mimicking Xu Nuan, they offered them yin cabbages to befriend them.
Some of the badgers were full, and they denied the cabbages. Fortunately, a few accepted their gestures.
The girls quickly deployed a taming array around the creatures to connect their thoughts with them.
A dozen circle formations appeared and quickly vanished. Everybody succeeded in connecting their thoughts with the designated monsters.
One of the lava badgers jumped into the arms of a tamer girl. The latter panicked. However, as soon as she caught the monster, she noticed that their lava physique didn't harm her.
Xu Nuan explained, "When a creature is successfully tamed, you will gain some of their abilities and immunity. But be careful, though. Once your creature dies, you will lose that ability and immunity! Be sure to protect your pets and cherish them! Raise them as if you're raising your children!"
The girls nodded. One of them jumped into the lava field and discovered that the moldy liquid could no longer burn her. She laughed and chased after other badgers, who also played with her.
Xu Nuan nodded in approval as these girls managed to grasp the basics. Still, she couldn't get rid of her worries.
'How did these monsters grow so fast? What caused them to evolve? The lava shouldn't have enough fire Qi for all of them.'
While Xu Nuan was deep in thought, one of the badgers sang.
Xu Nuan widened her eyes as soon as she heard it. She thought of the white tree that Leo had planted, south of the farmlands. There was also a protection array that Esen managed, which trapped the sweet dream mushrooms inside from spreading outside.
"M-Mushroom? D-Did they eat that?!"